Joined: 9-26-2006
Posts: 240
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
6/16/2007 11:35 AM

Two guys are fishing off opposite side of a small bridge over a little creek.  The guy on the upstream side hollers over his shoulder at the other guy, “Hey, man, pull up your line; I’m going to take a leak.”  The other guy says he needs to take a leak, too; and, to go ahead.

 

After a minute the first guy yells at the other, “Man, that water sure is cold!”

 

The other guy yells back, “And, deep, too!!”
Joined: 7-21-2006
Posts: 3270
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
6/19/2007 2:22 PM

The Old Dog


A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking
her faithful, elderly poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the old poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long,
Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard
heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some
bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on
the
bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is
about
to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious
leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look
of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!",
says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey ! who had been watching the whole scene from a
nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it
for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle
sees
him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that
something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and
strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving
canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back
and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the
dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen
them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle
says...

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me
another leopard!

Moral of this story....

Don't mess with the old dogs...age and skill will always overcome youth
and treachery! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and
experience.

If you don't send this to allof your "old" friends right away there will be
a fewer people laughing in the world. Of course, I am in no way
insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more "youthfully
challenged." You did notice the size of the print, didn't you?

Joined: 7-21-2006
City: Georgetown
State: Texas
Posts: 1022
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
6/19/2007 5:22 PM
True 2NN...so true!
Joined: 7-21-2006
City: Georgetown
State: Texas
Posts: 1022
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
6/19/2007 7:05 PM
A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk answers, "Yes, I am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.
He pulls him up and ask s the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"
The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus."
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer.  He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus my brother?"
The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again -- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God have you found Jesus?"
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,
> >
> > *
> > *
> > *
> > *
> > *
> > "Are you sure this is where he fell in ?"



Joined: 9-26-2006