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MsBiff
Joined: 7-21-2006
City: Georgetown
State: Texas
Posts: 1019
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
2/20/2008 4:45 PM
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmacist: 
'I got a hot date tonight, an 'I need me some pertection.  
How much is a pack a' them rubbers gonna cost me?'
The pharmacist responds: 'A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax.'
'TACKS!' the shocked redneck says.
'Gawd a'mighty, don't they stay on by themselves?'

sleestak
Joined: 8-14-2006
City: Stairway to Heaven
State: Alabama
Posts: 429
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
2/23/2008 5:16 AM
Did you have to say he was from Alabama?  Why couldn't you have said Tennessee?
MsBiff
Joined: 7-21-2006
City: Georgetown
State: Texas
Posts: 1019
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
2/23/2008 2:27 PM
lol...sorry about that Stak!  I just copied and pasted..but I guess I could have changed the state.
tennesseettes
Joined: 9-26-2006
Posts: 240
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
2/27/2008 11:00 AM

Several couples were attending a marriage seminar. 

 

The speaker said, “It’s important that husbands and wives know each

other’s likes and dislikes.”  He then leaned over, addressing a man

sitting on the front row next to his wife, and asked “Do you know your

wife’s favorite flower?”

 

A guy on the back row leaned over to his wife and asked,

“Yours is Pillsbury, isn’t it?”

tennesseettes
Joined: 9-26-2006
Posts: 240
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
3/3/2008 10:55 AM
A guy and his wife go to the doctor's office for his checkup. After his exam, the doctor called the wife into his office alone and said, "Your husband is suffering from very severe stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die: Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. And, most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife. “What did the doctor say?"

The wife replied, "He said you're going to die,"
2 NasCar Nvtsz
Joined: 7-21-2006
Posts: 3220
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
3/5/2008 9:12 PM

0UCH that hurts ,mmmm

 remember It dont feel good till it hurts

tennesseettes
Joined: 9-26-2006
Posts: 240
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
3/6/2008 10:57 AM

Two women were going out to play golf and upon teeing off the first lady’s ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing ahead of them. The ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.  The woman rushed down to the man, immediately began to apologize and said, “Please allow me to help.  I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I can relieve your pain, if you'd allow me.” 

 

The man said, “If you can ease the pain, please do.”
 

The lady gently took his hands away from his groin, loosened his pants, put her hands inside, began to tenderly and artfully massage then asked, “How does that feel?”
 
The guy said, “It feels great; but, I still think my thumb is broken.”
2 NasCar Nvtsz
Joined: 7-21-2006
Posts: 3220
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
3/7/2008 6:31 AM

                              ROFL 1 [:rofl1]             ROFL 2 [:rofl2]

 

                              ~!~Thanks~!~ Again~!~

2 NasCar Nvtsz
Joined: 7-21-2006
Posts: 3220
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
3/8/2008 8:47 AM
Learn Chinese in 5 Min( must read out loud)
 
1. That's not right................................................Sum Ting Wong
2. Are you harbouring a fugitive.............................Hu Yu Hai Ding
3. See me ASAP.................................................Kum Hia
4. Stupid Man.....................................................Dum F.u.k
5. Small Horse....................................................Tai Ni Po Ni
6. Did you go to the beach....................................Wai Yu So Tan
7. I bumped the coffee table.................................. I bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8. I think you need a face lift.................................Chin Tu Fat
9. It's Very dark in here........................................ Wai So Dim
10.I thought you were on a diet..............................Wai Yu Kum Ching
11. This a tow away zone......................................No Pah King
12. Our meeting is scheduled for next week........... Wai Yu kum Nao
13. Staying out of sight..........................................Lei Ying Lo
14. He's cleaning his automobile.............................Wa Shing Ka
15. Your body odor is offensive................................Yu Stin Ki Pu
16. Great...............................................................Fa Kin Su Pah
 
MsBiff
Joined: 7-21-2006
City: Georgetown
State: Texas
Posts: 1019
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
3/8/2008 10:47 AM
ROFL 2 [:rofl2]  That's a good one!
2 NasCar Nvtsz
Joined: 7-21-2006
Posts: 3220
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
3/12/2008 4:09 AM
Leaving [:leaving]Cheers [:cheers]
tennesseettes
Joined: 9-26-2006
Posts: 240
Re: ~?~Humor ~?~The Best Medicine~?~
3/13/2008 10:09 AM